Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
