there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
