I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
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