This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
