OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
