He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
