dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
