I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
