she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
