yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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