to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
