3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize