; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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