so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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