she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
