like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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