I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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