the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
