I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
