fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
this hospital has no fireball
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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