escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
