if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
