Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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