you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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