We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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