I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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