Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
