I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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