if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
