just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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