whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
