i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
