The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
