Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize