Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize