A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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