pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
