This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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