The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
