please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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