i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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