if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
