Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The power of my boobs compel you
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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