Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
