what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This is classic penis vs brain.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
