you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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