Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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