You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
