Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am mentally ready for anal.
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