omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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