But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize