Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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