There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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