Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize