idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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