remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wear drunk well.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
