Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
