the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
