I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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